Spiney Norman has left the building

 

The Piranha Brothers were dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that...

Whilst the authorities of the regime marshalled their armored cars, drones and riot police, cries of "Starmer is a wanker!" filled the streets. And it was indeed true: Mr. Starmer IS a wanker. Somewhere around 100,000 marched through the streets of London. There were perhaps more. With all eyes trained to this spectacle, another more significant event occurred at the Luton Airport.

Long believed to be dead, none other than Spiney Norman was spotted in Muslim cleric's garb, slipping off for parts unknown. My guess is Argentina, but that is just a hunch. The disguise was probably unnecessary. If the BBC was still running Ethel the Frog, we would have answers, but the "beeb" has given up on this type of hard-hitting journalism. Some might say they have given up on journalism altogether. They would be correct, but that is another discussion.

In the chaos of Britain's last winter of discontent, Spiney Norman had finally vanquished his quarry, the much-feared Dinsdale Piranha. Taking a page from Sterling Morrison's book, Norman then went under deep cover during the Thatcher years, working a tugboat on the Thames. Not surprisingly, he was right under their noses for years until fading from memory. It has been suggested by some that the Met gave Norman a free pass for taking out the Piranha crime syndicate. This would seem a legitimate theory, though no proof of this has ever been presented. Only the late Harry "Snapper" Organs could tell for certain and, like the Piranha Brothers, he is also deceased.

With the passage of time, the dimming memory and the mass importation of Islamic "asylum seekers", it was then easy for Norman to cloak himself within these sequestered cells of British society. It was easy to hide in places that no one would dare to look. This was true under the leadership of Saint Anthony the Cottager, the feckless succession of PMs which followed, and never more so than under the regime of Comrade Starmer. But then something changed.

Once the spotlight was shone upon Randy Andy, Norman knew it would not be long. He had observed the ebb and flow of British sentiment for decades and it became painfully evident that the tide was again turning. When the British establishment demonstrates the willingness to throw a royal upon the sacrificial bonfire; when a Tommy Robinson garners more and more open support; when a young Scottish lass can wield a battleaxe with impunity on a public street, it is time to go.

Spiney Norman's departure signals a sea change in majority sentiment. Britain is no longer a safe place for giant hedgehogs with anger management issues. It follows that with a little more time, the same may be true for every Ahmed and Abdul to have been deposited on that fair Isle. The Piranha Brothers would have been quite helpful in this, but they are dead. There is no doubt whatever about that.