St. James the Pious

Seven years ago, in another forum, we exposed the truth of the Mueller investigation in a feature titled Beware when Axolotls frolic. It was there that we reported the truth about former FBI Director James Comey, or as we like to refer to him, St. James the Pious. In October 2019, again in another forum, we provided our concluding word on the Mueller report and the man himself in the feature Agent Mueller's last ride. An excerpt of the latter feature follows below:

In Beware when Axolotls frolic, I reported the abrupt and bloody end of St. James, and it was indeed true. I have long known that the James Comey seen on book tours and on film, twitter or any other medium, is in fact a hulking Golem with James Comey skin stretched across it's mocking imitation of life.  Whatever Mueller's personal disappointment in his once star pupil, it was predetermined that Comey should be destined for Sainthood. Anything less would reflect ill upon that most sacred of institutions, the Bureau, and by extension all of it's servants past, present and future. In some lab, buried deep within the rock of West Virginia, the U.S. government has gone all Frank Herbert with the remnants of the original. Like the legendary soldier, Duncan Idaho in faithful service of House Atreides, St. James the Pious has been genetically replicated in ghola form that he may too continue in faithful service of the house of Fidelity, Bravery and Integrity. Don't be surprised if one of these abominations does not appear on CNN or MSNBC.

Every lie, every leak, every unscrupulous act is no accident and all with malice aforethought. Saint James learned everything he knew at the knee of Agent Mueller. He carried on in his footsteps capably until he made one fatal error. Jimmy let it become all about him. He forgot the cardinal rule: if you want the Bureau to look out for you, you have to look out for the Bureau. Mueller was right to shoot him in the head. Had I been in his shoes I'd have done the same. Agent Mueller needed to tie up loose ends. He needed Comey's silence, but could not afford for him to disappear entirely. Fronting the report that bears his name was just a further gathering of loose ends. Andy and his crew did the best they could with what they had to work with and Mueller presided over it all as a desperate rearguard action for his beloved Bureau. He bought them time, but was it enough?

In the unlikely event that any indictments are handed down the ghola Comey will be paraded before the cameras and sacrificed on that great altar of convenience. And none will be the wiser. The Deep State is real, my friends. It's not a swamp, rather it is a barren heath, overgrown with weeds. Like one giant thistle, many agencies comprise it's parts, but the FBI is the taproot of it all. Even if none of these bad actors see a day in prison, the American people deserve to be told the truth. Prison is too good for these people. That would be the result of the legal process, which as we all know has fuck all to do with justice. Justice would entail these people meeting an end like Mussolini.

It would appear that we have arrived at that unlikely event. St. James was indicted in Federal court in the Eastern District of Virginia, but instead of a warrant only a summons to appear was issued. The eagerly anticipated perp walk was not to be. Answering this summons on 8 October, Comey is reported to have entered his plea of not guilty to the court in Alexandria, VA. The ghola Comey was stealthily admitted and released through a back door, out of view of prying eyes, lights and television cameras.  It is being reported that this was done out of "security concerns". That's the official story.

The fact that this is but a mere facsimile of the original is known to only a precious few in Washington. Those precious few desire that this should remain a secret. They have enough troubles on their hands at the moment. It wouldn't do to add yet another line of questioning. There is next to nothing known about this mysterious cloning program, and even less of how the finished products are managed. There are some things I do know about the program, things which I am confident are the real reason for the secrecy. 

To begin, I can say that I have knowledge of at least three Comeys having been produced from this lab. There may be more, but I can attest to only three. There is first the Filipino version, a necessary cover of the original bailout plan before, in exasperation and cocaine fueled mania, Agent Mueller snuffed out the life of the original. We'll call this one Comey 2.0.

Comey 2.0 is in Mindanao, in the Philippines, where he performs as a rap artist under the banner of Stretch MC and the Altar Boys. In one of his last lucid acts, Agent Mueller had been sure to retrieve the Cardinal's robes Comey had donned for their long weekend in the desert. Stretch MC wears these as part of the act, rapping the gospel of salvation through sodomy. The Philippine authorities frown on this, of course, but the act enjoys the full support of the local Diocese.

Comey 3.0 lives in a small village on the Baltic coast of Estonia, where he is employed as a quality control inspector for a boat varnish manufacturer. Aside from his freakish height and chronic halitosis, there is little about this Comey that has attracted any attention at all. It is unclear to what purpose a Comey has been placed here, except perhaps to serve as a saboteur. This was likely at the behest of a well-connected Lithuanian rival in the volatile Baltic boat varnish industry. That is admittedly only conjecture. We have not been able to confirm this.

Then finally, we come to Comey 4.0, the domestic edition. This Comey is the direct substitute to the original St. James the Pious. Each and every ghola is imbued with those traits inherent from the source material.  After a ghola is "released", their conditioning and the environment where they are placed determine the degree to which those traits are developed. There are several distinct behavioral characteristics of the original St. James that have become the dominant traits of edition 4.0.

1) Narcissism

2) Roman Catholic fetishism

3) Repressed latent homosexuality

When placed into the circus of the Washington media orbit, it is a perfect storm that brings out the worst in the attention whores of the world. It gives them power and that endorphin rush they so desperately seek. The boys in the lab did not foresee that their creation would grow to be social media savvy. In this new media landscape, the X or TikTok account are a breeding ground for drama queens. The moment that 4.0 posted, waxing eloquent over the Tau of Tay-Tay, the handlers knew they had a problem. Of course there were other signs. Collecting seashells on the beach. Seriously?

Perhaps the original St. James fell prey to some parochial pederast. Indeed, I contend that this is rather likely. The tall, geeky kid with the mulish face, practically screaming out "pick me! pick me!". This spawned a life of clergy cosplay and denial, at once self-aggrandizing and self-loathing. 

Comey 4.0 is adhering to this legacy, a product of his conditioning. In the hyper-woke environment emerging since the demise of the original, these qualities have become supercharged. The clergy fetishism has easily morphed into transvestitism. And it has even gone beyond this. You see Comey 4.0 has gone over the top to full trans. The boys in the lab blame the Swifties. I say they should have known.

In any case, the decision was taken somewhere that it simply would not do for the new Comey to appear before the cameras in Alexandria. Even after four years of depravity from the biden residency, it was considered that America was not ready to see a nearly seven-foot-tall drag queen, in a sleeveless gown with hairy beeftits flopping around. If this thing ever does actually come to trial, they will have to remove 4.0 and insert another. My money is on the Estonian.