We have heard from a gentleman somewhere in Michigan who claims he knows the identity of at least one of the Deaf Kids from New Guinea. We have him holding on the line with us right now... please stand by...
Ok...do we have him? Right. Alright, with us now live we have an individual who has asked to remain anonymous, a man who says he knows the identity of at least one of the terrorists. Can you tell us the name, sir, and how you are acquainted with this person?
"Hey. What's up?"
Yes, hello. Can you hear us alright?
"Yeah, no prob. So are we on?"
Yes, we are live...
"Oh! Okay, sorry. Yeah, so I was telling your guys there that I was at that bank over there in Gurnee, ya know? Last week, when those weird pajama boys had been in there?"
Yes. Go on...
"Yeah, so I'm over there to deliver some... uh... glass, right? I'm in the drive through lane and I'm waiting and then theres this, like, U-Haul truck, right? Comes barreling around the lot and I look, and I'm like Whoa! I know that dude!"
The one driving the truck?
"Yeah, the one driving."
<awkward silence>
....and? You recognized the driver?
"Yeah, I just said th-..."
... and who was it? How did you know that person?
"uh, yeah... so I'm like Whoa! That's Kevin Crabtree! I used to work with that dude!"
And you're sure this was the Kevin Crabtree you worked with?
"Oh yeah, pretty sure. Then later I got another look on TV... at those surveillance tapes from inside the bank, ya know? Then I was really sure of it."
When did you work with Mr. Crabtree and where was that?
"Uh...that was five years ago. We were part of the road crew for Ambivalent Gene and the Tepid Endorsements. We did their Tommy 50th anniversary tour."
The who?
"Yeah, that's right. The Who's Tommy. I mean it was them, you know...the original..."
Right, but the tour?
"Oh no, dude! That wasn't the Who... Ambivalent Gene. That was the tour.."
...and the Tepid Endorsements, got it. So what can you tell us about him? Do you know where he's from?
"No, man, I don't know where he came from. He was always a weird dude, though, ya know? I mean when I saw those pajamas I was like, yeah that doesn't surprise me. He's one of those people who take the whole cosplay thing waaaay too far, ya know?"
So no ideas about any friends? Family?
"No. Don't know a thing about that."
What about the other "deaf kid"? Did you recognize the other one at all?
"No, never saw him before."
Alright. Is there anything else you can think of, about Mr. Crabtree, that might provide some insight to his motives? What do you think the Deaf Kids from New Guinea want?
"Uh... well, I heard they were after a record demo, but other than that? I don't know, man. Thats pretty fucked up that shit they did up in Madison..."
... allegedly
"...right, allegedly. Yeah, only other thing I know is he looked really pissed off coming out of that parking lot."
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We are going to take a deep dive into Ambivalent Gene and the Tepid Endorsements to find out more about Kevin Crabtree's time with them. Maybe there is some tidbit, some little kernel that will take us into the workings of this sick and twisted mind.
We here at Midnight and other beasts have learned of a disturbing peripheral development in this story. It seems that in various parts of the Midwest now there are random bands of fanboys who are emulating the Deaf Kids by wearing similar Care Bear pajamas. There have been no further crimes from these imitators, other than some minor incidents of vandalism. They have, however, caused quite a panic in some instances merely by appearing in public with these outfits. Some local authorities have begun to call for a ban on the sale of Care Bear pajamas, as these "false" sightings are hindering the efforts of law enforcement to apprehend the suspects.
There is one other thing to report tonight. We are hesitant to announce this as we are awaiting further corroboration, but unnamed sources have informed us that there may (emphasis on may) be some connection with the renegade journalist, Ford Wenty, who has not been seen or heard from in over three years. Again, this is NOT confirmed, but introduces yet another twist in this bizarre case.
We will remain on top of this story. Please stay tuned for more details as they may develop.
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