Thursday, November 13, 2025

Thanksgiving: A Host's Lament




Well, that day is upon us two weeks hence.  The annual ritual of parades, NFL football games, and gluttony.  Many have dealt with leaner tables in recent years, indeed there are those still. Whatever your tradition or station, we here at Midnight and other beasts extend our most sincere wish that you all enjoy your Thanksgiving celebration.


I enjoy a much more modest tradition, now in my later years. Thanksgiving Eve is kicked off with an airing of WKRP in Cincinnati's famed "Turkeys Away" episode. Almost fifty years later and it still reigns as one of the funniest moments in television. This is followed by the film, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, John Hughes' Thanksgiving Opus.


The day of brings a traditional, but simple feast. A table setting for four only and football until I fall asleep, drooling upon myself with reckless abandon. It didn't used to be this way. For most of my adult life, Thanksgiving was an annual Hellscape, navigating the family factions of the moment and placating condescending in-laws. I know that for some this is the norm, and that many may actually embrace this experience. I, for one, do not miss this at all. 


I was prompted at one point to pen the following, expressing my deepest thoughts upon the subject. Even though it no longer expresses my own experience, I offer it now, in sympathy to those who still suffer thus...





The harvest feast over

and all the trash hauled away

except for the guests

who decided they'd stay


All the dishes are washed

and the leftovers stored

There's a crew on the couch

looking mightily bored


Well you were invited for dinner

not to be entertained

Some say I should join you

No thanks, I'll abstain


While sharing in misery

makes a fine pastime for some

I'll stay here in my kitchen

with this bottle of rum


I'll get quietly drunk

just sit here and grieve

until that blessed moment

when you all finally leave


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